What does a queer woman with no hair wear to a traditional Lebanese wedding? This is actually making me legitimately anxious. There will be big big hair, big big make up, and I feel like I’m going to look like the bride’s unfortunate bald best friend who wears jeans. The guest list tops something in the range of 700 people. No longer a wedding, but a stadium spectacle. The bride confided to me that she’s cursed at least half the guest list by shouting said curses inside their invitation boxes before slamming the lid closed. Presumably the unlucky guests open their invitations to have the curse fly out in their face like a fart sealed in a jar.
Two Aunties declared the entire wedding and subsequent marriage cursed because a cousin’s husband’s Aunty knows someone who had a wedding on the same day back in Lebanon a few years ago, and shortly after the wedding the poor woman “had to be carted off and committed”. The entire week surrounding that date is now a Black Week, and by refusing to change the date of her wedding, the bride finds herself the subject of a curse by default. There is much cursing and counter-cursing.
The bride’s father died in the war with Israel in the 80’s. The bride mentioned once that the smell of Turkish Delight makes her sick because it reminds her of the weeks the family barricaded in their apartment behind the kitchen counter and ate nothing but boxes and boxes of Turkish Delight.
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kathleenjoy said:
Wear a beautiful dress and bright lipstick and sensible shoes and forget you don’t have any hair.
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ferocityinafivefootpackage said:
Just be yourself, baby.
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heyfatchick said:
That sounds amazing. Bright lipstick and glitter jazz up every less-than-Lebanese outfit.
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